Monday, March 4, 2013

Whats happening now

The whole idea of taking this blog in a different direction was to show people that even after a half  lifetime touched with abuse there is still hope ...To do that I want to let you know what is going on in my life today ...I will post another poem later where it will show the difference but this post I wanted to tell you how abuse is still affecting my life today but how it feels to have someone who understands and loves you no matter what ........

Because of the years of abuse I have been diagnosed with PTSD  which is a disorder that occurs after you've seen or experienced a traumatic even that involved the threat of injury or death .... The cause of PTSD is unknown but it changes the body's response to stress..It affects the stress hormones and chemicals that carry information between the nerves

The first few years after I left I would have terrible nightmares where I would wake in the middle of the night crying out not knowing where I was ...It would take me several very long minutes before I would realize I was safe ...Michael was there with me through all of that and for those few moments I would stare at him until I realized who he was ...He would hold me and kiss my forehead and tell me everything was going to be alright ...I was safe ...I still have nights and days when I need reassuring but Michael does it without question .....

I tell you that to let anyone know who may be reading this to know no matter what your going through there is someone you can lean on ...Sometimes you have to let go just a little and let someone fill your soul with love .....My pain never goes away completely but I've learned its ok for me to let someone love me ..........

To be continued in later post ..................

 






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